I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
