Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
