Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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