We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
