Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All I want is dick and wine.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize