Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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