Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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