she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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