then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
