my soul wont recognize me after tonight
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize