garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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