Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize