The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
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He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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