I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
