I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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