yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize