I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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