we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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