Cold hands, warm shart.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize