we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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