Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
