Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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