If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Every concussion has its silver lining
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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