Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
