How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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