No subtext here. People are naked.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
