why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
