I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
