He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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