Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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