So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
