i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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