i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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