hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My breasts were aching with rage.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
