Me too!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize