Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
