We named our party play list daddy issues
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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