apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
