you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
