Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
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apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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