Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
