can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
