Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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