i think i have herpe
just one?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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