It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
