Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
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