Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
God I need to hump something, right now.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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