This is not my ceiling
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
As shirtless as possible
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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