You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
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I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
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i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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