my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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