My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You're like the curious george of whores
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
