foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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