Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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