Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
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I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
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My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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