I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
