Soap is not a condiment
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Randomize
