Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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