So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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