grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize