Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
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Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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