We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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