I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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